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“I’m not getting married,” she said resolutely. “I’ll live with someone for a long time and perhaps never tie the knot. I work in Manchester Register Office and I see all these couples getting married, and half of them won’t last five years before they’re ready to divorce.”“You know you can find out when she’s getting married and where? In her local register office they have to display couples’ intention to marry, and Parish Churches display which couples are getting married in their church. You could easily find out.”I was amazed! “Lorraine, you’re a genius! I’ll find her somehow.”She smiled with satisfaction.We chatted on for about an hour and then fell asleep, the amorous activity next door having presumably ended in exhaustion.On Saturday morning, we awoke and after we had showered, separately, I took her down to the kitchen, where she consumed some toast and marmalade by way of breakfast, with coffee being her preference.As I saw her off at the front door before anyone else was. " Have a good day, Sir," replied the copper.QueenslandThe owner of a golf course on the Gold Coast was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help.He called her into his office and said,"You graduated from the University of Queensland and I need some help. If I was to give you$20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?"The secretary thought a moment, and then replied,"Everything but my earrings."TasmaniaA senior citizen in Tasmania was overheard saying,"When the end of the world comes, I hope to be here."When asked why, he replied,"I'd rather be in Tasmania 'cause everything happens in Tasmania 20 years later than in the rest of the world."Northern TerritoryThe young man from NT came running into the store and said to his mate, "Johnno, somebody just stole your car from the parking lot!"Johnno replied, "Did ya see who it was?"The young man answered, "I couldn't tell, butI got the license number."Western AustraliaA WA highway.
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